Simply Poop and Get OUT!

Has your husband ever spent so much time in the bathroom that you actually forgot he was even home? Sometimes my husband takes so long to do his business that I begin to wonder if he finally just got tired of all the crazy chaos and up and left me! Other times it takes so long that I actually become concerned for his well being and tap on the door just to check in! So in honor of my husband's persistent dedication to passing #2 I have compiled a list of special situations that took significantly less time than it takes my husband to "see a man about a horse..."

#5- The Gettysburg Address...President Lincoln delivered one of the most important speeches in American history in less time than it takes my husband to take his "AM BM"!

#4- The Titanic Sank...The massive British passenger liner smashed into an iceberg, flooded, broke in half, and sank to the bottom of the North Atlantic Ocean in less time than it takes my husband to "drop some kids in the pool"!

#3- Sputnik orbited the Earth in less time than it takes my husband to "chuck the football"!

#2- You can listen to Don McLean's "American Pie" like 10 times...one of the longest songs ever, in less time than it takes my husband to "drive HIS Chevy to the levee"!

AND DRUM ROLL PLEASE BECAUSE #1 IS MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE!!!!

#1- I gave birth to a real life human being...3 times...in less time than it takes my husband to "drop the stink pickle"!

So ladies, if you're like me sitting there twiddling your thumbs waiting for YOUR husband to "grow a monkey tail" then just take comfort in knowing you're NOT alone!!! That being said, if you're the husband just drop it already, get off the pot, wash your hands, and go help your wife for crying out loud!

Keep it Simple,

Hope